161.
Funny Santa ne Banta ko Hindi SMS bheja: Bhejane-wala mahaan, padhane-wala gadha.
Banta gusse me vapis sms bhejta hai: Bhejane-wala gadha, padhane-wala mahaan.
162 .
Santa wanted to open an email account. The terms said, “Your password must have 5 characters – 1 number and 1 capital.”
Santa’s password:
ShaktimaanTomJerryChandrakantaChachaChaudhary9898912345Delhi
163 .
Santa came to the US and was lying on a beach in California.
An American: “Are you relaxing?”
Santa: “No, I am SantaSingh!”
Another American: “Are you relaxing?”
Santa: “No, I am SantaSingh!”
Another American: “Are you relaxing?”
Santa: “No (shouting), I am SantaSingh!”
Santa left that place in anger and went to the other end.
Then Santa asked one American lying nearby, “Are you relaxing?”
The American: “Yes.”
Santa slapped him and said, “Haramkhor sab tujhe dhund rahe hain aur tu yahaan padaa hai!
164.
Uncle Ben from Spiderman: “With great power comes great responsibility!”
Santa: “With great power comes a great electric bill.”
165.
Ek nav-vivahit Gujarati girl ki B.Ed exam ka result first class aata hai.
Uska Gujarati husband news sunke excite ho jaata he, aur apne father-in-law ko sms karta hai:
“Aapki beti Bed me first class hai!”
Punjabi Version:
Ik navi viahi Gujarati girl di B.Ed exam vich first division aai.
Ohda Gujarati husband excite ho ke apne father-in-law nu sms karda hai: Tuhadi guddi Bed vich first class hai.
166.
Santa: Me yahan nahi rahunga,Itna chhota room,No window, No Bathroom, Return my money.
Waiter: Waiter: Mere Baap ! Upar room me to chal, Yeh to lift hai.
167.
Q: A Man asked Santa, “Akal badi ya bhens? ”
A: Santa bola, “Pehle date of birth to batao.”
168.
Santa went out to buy an Indian flag.
The shop owner gave him the flag.
Guess what did he ask next… Is mein aur colour dikhayiye.
169.
Santa: “Bachpan Mein Maan Ki Baat Suni Hoti To Aaj Ye Din Na Dekhne Padte.”
Banta: “Kya Kehta Tha Maan?”
Santa: “Jab Baat Hi Nhi Suni To Mujhe Kya Pata, Kya Kehta Tha”
170.
Banta takes interview of Santa for a job.
Banta: Tell me opposite words of these:
Banta: Good
Santa: Bad
Banta: Come
Santa: Go
Banta: Fast
Santa: Slow
Banta: Ugly
Santa: Pichhli
Banta: U-G-L-Y
Santa: P-I-C-H-H-L-I
Banta: Shut up
Santa: Keep talking
Banta: Get out
Santa: Come in
Banta: Oh my God
Santa: Oh my devil
Banta: You are rejected
Santa: I am selected
171.
Santa: Yesterday the police arrested me for tampering with the ATM.
Banta: What did you do?
Santa: It asked me to enter the PIN and I inserted a safety pin.
172.
Santa: I want to marry you.
Jeeto : But I am two years older than you.
Santa: Dont worry, I will wait for two years till I get older.
173.
Santa: I played chess against Viswanath Anand but I lost.
Banta: You are a fool. He is the world champion in chess, how can you win against him.
Santa: Thats why I asked him to play Left Handed but I still lost.
Banta: You are an idiot. He is actually Left Handed.
174.
Santa to doctor : Aapne nurse bahut changi rakhi hai, uska haath lagtey hi mein theek ho gaya.
Doctor : Jaanta hoon, thappad ki aawaaz mujhe bhi sunai di thi.
175.
Santa was riding on a horse. He jumped the red light & a cop whistles.
Santa lifts the tail of horse & says: ‘Le Karle Number Note’
176.
Santa: Oye, tu to Doctor ke paas jaane waala tha, kya hua?
Banta: Yaar kal jaunga, aaj tabiyat thodi kharab hai.
177.
Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatoes 5 days ago, he hasn’t come back yet..
Santa: Why don’t u cook something else?
178.
Nurse: Congrats Santa ji, aap papa ban gaye.
Santa: Meri wife ko nahi bolna mein use surprise dunga!
179.
Santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway track.
Banta: What are you doing Santa? You will die.
Santa: No. You will die, didnt you hear train is coming on platform?
180.
Q: Why was Santa writing the exam near the door?
A: Because it was an entrance exam.
181.
Teacher: What’s Ford?
Pappu: Gaadi.
Teacher: What’s Oxford?
Pappu: Very simple, Bail Gaadi
182.
Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller?
Pappu: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl.
183.
Banta ped pe chada to upar baithey Bandar ne poocha: Upar kyon aaya?
Banta: Apple khane.
Bandar: Yeh to aam ka ped hai.
Banta: Pata hai, Apple saath laya hoon.
184.
Banta: Marte waqt aadmi ko kya dena chahiye?
Santa: Birla cement.
Banta: Kyun?
Santa: Kyunki is Cement mein jaan hai.
185.
Santa : “Kaisa raha interview?”
Banta : “Achha raha, par… ”
Santa : “Par kya?”
.
.
.
Banta : “Unhone kaha ‘show us your testimonials’ lekin lagta hai maine kucchh galat dikha diya!”
186.
Santa ki modern wife ne use ofice jaate waqt pyar se kaha: “See you in the evening.”
Santa: “Main bhi tujhe dekh lunga kamini, dhamki kisko deti hai!”
187.
Santa Singh: How you feel when any woman gives you a flying kiss..??
Bunta Singh: I hate such lazy women.
188.
Santa: “Bachpan Mein Maan Ki Baat Suni Hoti To Aaj Ye Din Na Dekhne Padte.”
Banta: “Kya Kehta Tha Maan?”
Santa: “Jab Baat Hi Nhi Suni To Mujhe Kya Pata, Kya Kehta Tha”
189.
They call our language the mother tongue because the father rarely gets to speak.
190.
Banta: I got a brand new BMW 7-series for my wife!
Santa: WOW… thats an Unbelievable exchange offer!!
191.
Secretary uske Boss se: “Sir Aap Ki Biwi Muje Itni Shak Bhari Nazro Se Q Dekh Rhi Hai ?”
Boss: “Kyo Ki Tumse Pehle Woh Meri Secretary Thi.”
192.
Teacher: “Pappu, batao Parle G ke packet pe jo Green dot bana hai uska matlab kya hai?”
Pappu: “Ma’am iska matlab Parle G online baithe hain !!”…;)
193.
Ek Dadi Bhagwat Gita ka paath kar rahi thi.
Pota: Dadi aap konsi exam ki tayari kar rahi ho?
Dadi: Final exam ki…..
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