51.
Sardarji was found standing below a tube light with an open mouth.................
WHY?
Because his doctor advised him-: "Take light food "
52.
Sardarni asks her lover-:" Dear, if we get engaged, will u give me a ring?"
Sardar-: " Which is your phone number ?
53.
Two days of powerfailure in India made life miserable.
Worst affected city was Amritsar
where all the Sardars were kept for 48 hrs. on Escalaters….
54.
Why does Sardar always smile during lightning storms?
They think somebody is taking photographs.
55.
Friend-: "Oh, look at the dead bird."
Sardar looked skyward and said-: "Where, Where?
56.
Sardar-: "How much you have studied? "
Friend-: " B.A."
Sardar-: " Stupid, only two words are studied and even don't know how to spell it in the correct sequence."
57.
One day a Sardarji was talking with his friend...
Sardarji-:" I have to learn Malayalam language within six months or I'll not be able to communicate with my child."
Friend-: " Is it! Why?"
Sardarji-:" We have adopted a Malayali child and it will start to speak after six months!"
58.
Flash news " A two seater plane crashed in a graveyard in Punjab".
Local Sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are still digging for more..
59.
Teacher-: " ' I killed a person' convert this sentence into future tense."
Sardar-: " u will go to jail ".
70.
AT SAINT PETER'S GATE
After death, Sardar reached the door of the heaven smoothly.
There he met Saint Peter and who said, 'Well, Sardar It is nice to talk to you but we have changed our policy these days.
I will ask you a question and you need to answer it correctly before you go in.'
Sardar , with lot of self confidence told Saint Peter to go ahead and ask him the toughest question.
Saint Peter -: " How many seconds are there in a year? "
Sardar without wasting time, answered -: " 12 "
Astonished Saint Peter asked him -:" How???? "
Sardar -: " January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd..."
71.
Friend- :" What a pair of strange socks are you wearing, one is green and the other one is blue !"
Sardar- : "Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the same at home."
72.
A Sardar went to a bank to open a Savings Bank Account. After seeing the Form He went to
Delhi for filling up.
Why?
Form says " Fill up in CAPITAL ".
73.
Sardar told his servant-: " Go and water the plants."
Servant-:" It's already raining."
Sardar-: "So what ;take an umbrella and go."
74.
A Sardar and his wife filed an application for Divorce.
Judge asked-: " How'll you divide, you have three children?
Sardar replied-: "Ok! We"ll apply next year"
75.
Sardarji decided to write the MBA exam. He can understand every thing except for the LOGIC part. One day when he was reading, his friend came.
Friend-: How is your MBA preparation?
Sardarji-: Every thing is fine, but I could not understand Logic.
Friend-: Logic is very easy.
Sardarji-: Can you give me an example, so that I can understand?
Friend-: OK. Do you have fish pot in your house?
Sardarji-: YES.
Friend-: Logically, there will be water in it.
Sardarji-: YES.
Friend-: Logically, there will be fish in it.
Sardarji-: YES.
Friend-: Logically, someone will be feeding the fish.
Sardarji-: YES.
Friend-: I take a guess that your wife will be feeding the fish.
Sardarji-: YES.
Friend-: so, logically, your are married.
Sardarji-: YES.
Friend-: So, that means U are a heterosexual.
76.
Sardarji was very glad and he understood logic. Next day he saw another sardarji friend named Buta who was also preparing for MBA.
Sardarji-: How is your MBA preparation?
Buta-: Everything is fine except for the logic.
Sardarji-: Oh, logic is easy.
Buta-: Please, give me an example.
Sardarji -: Do you have a fish pot in your house?
Buta-: NO, I don't.
Sardarji-:you bloody HOMO!!!
77.
Sardarji was trying to commit suicide on the railway track and he took some wine and chicken along with him.
Railway guards stopped him from committing suicide but were surprised to see the dinner box and asks-:"But!!!!! Why you carried your dinner?"
Sardarji replied-:" If the train is not in time; then I will die out of hunger"
78. LETTER
Letter from mother to Sardarji.
Beloved son,
I am writing this letter slow, because I know you can't read fast. We shifted our home. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen 20 miles from our old home, so we moved. I wont be able to send you the address of new home as the last Sardar who stayed here took the numbers with him for their next house, so they would not have to change their address.
The weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first time it rained three days, and the second time for four days.
Regarding the coat you wanted me to send you; the post office staff told it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with all the buttons, so I cut them off and put them in the pocket.
Here your father got another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting grass at the cemetery.
Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it's a girl or a boy, so I don't know whether you are an Aunt or Uncle.
Your uncle fell in a pond. Some men tried pulling him out, but he fought them off and drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.
There is not much more news this time. Nothing much has happened.
LoveMom.
P.S: I wish to send you some money but unfortunately the envelope was already sealed.
79.
Sardarji was in court charged with parking his car in a restricted area. The judge asked him if he had anything to say in his defence.
Sardaji-: "They should not put up such misleading notices. It said, FINE FOR PARKING HERE."
80.
Sardarji came to the office of The Hindustan Times to place an advertisement announcing his father's death.
The clerk told -: "The rate is Rs. 360 per single col. cm,"
Sardarji exclaimed -: “Oohhhhh…Then I will become a bankrupt ,because My father was 182 cms tall."
81.
Sardarji was appearing for his University final examination. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. He then removes his turban and throws it away as well. Then his shirt, pants, socks and watch..
The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on.
Sardarji-: "Ohh.., I am only following the instructions; it says,
'Answer the following questions in brief'.”
82.
Q: How do you keep a sardarji busy?
A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a paper.
Q: Why did the sardarji stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?
A: ‘ Because it said 'concentrate'.
Q: Why did 18 sardarjis go to a movie?
A: ‘ Because that film was for above 18.’
83.
There was a meeting of all Sardar freedom fighters. They were planning for a Punjab with a fast pace of development.
Banta Singh raised a point, "For that...we should liberate Punjab from India “
“ But how?" All the sardars spelled in the same manner
Santa Singh had a brainwave... "No problem! We'll attack America, then they will take over us and then we will become a State of USA and develop automatically." All the sardars became happy with this very simple solution but an old sardar was in a pensive mood. One among them asked him why he wasn't happy.
Sardar said-: "That is a good idea; But.. if we defeat America!!"
84.
A sardarji with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked what happened to his ears and he answered, "I was ironing a shirt and that time the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."
"Oh God!!!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But.. What happened to your other ear?"
"The scoundrel again called."
85.
While Sardarji was enjoying the sunset at Kovelam beach a lady approached him and asked “ Are you relaxing? “
Sardarji replied-:” No, I am Santa Sing “
86.
Thousands of Sardar’s were found dancing and singing in the street during a funeral procession. A passer-by in utter surprise asked a Sardar dancer about the matter.
Sardar replied-:” He was the first Sardar who died due to brain tumor. From now, no stupid will dare to say Sardar’s don’t have brain “
87.
Sardarji is very much optimistic. One day while going to the shop he looked upward and at the instant a bird excreted in his face. He took his towel and gently cleaned it and said “Thanks God; for making cow’s don’t fly”.
Sardarji was found standing below a tube light with an open mouth.................
WHY?
Because his doctor advised him-: "Take light food "
52.
Sardarni asks her lover-:" Dear, if we get engaged, will u give me a ring?"
Sardar-: " Which is your phone number ?
53.
Two days of powerfailure in India made life miserable.
Worst affected city was Amritsar
where all the Sardars were kept for 48 hrs. on Escalaters….
54.
Why does Sardar always smile during lightning storms?
They think somebody is taking photographs.
55.
Friend-: "Oh, look at the dead bird."
Sardar looked skyward and said-: "Where, Where?
56.
Sardar-: "How much you have studied? "
Friend-: " B.A."
Sardar-: " Stupid, only two words are studied and even don't know how to spell it in the correct sequence."
57.
One day a Sardarji was talking with his friend...
Sardarji-:" I have to learn Malayalam language within six months or I'll not be able to communicate with my child."
Friend-: " Is it! Why?"
Sardarji-:" We have adopted a Malayali child and it will start to speak after six months!"
58.
Flash news " A two seater plane crashed in a graveyard in Punjab".
Local Sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are still digging for more..
59.
Teacher-: " ' I killed a person' convert this sentence into future tense."
Sardar-: " u will go to jail ".
70.
AT SAINT PETER'S GATE
After death, Sardar reached the door of the heaven smoothly.
There he met Saint Peter and who said, 'Well, Sardar It is nice to talk to you but we have changed our policy these days.
I will ask you a question and you need to answer it correctly before you go in.'
Sardar , with lot of self confidence told Saint Peter to go ahead and ask him the toughest question.
Saint Peter -: " How many seconds are there in a year? "
Sardar without wasting time, answered -: " 12 "
Astonished Saint Peter asked him -:" How???? "
Sardar -: " January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd..."
71.
Friend- :" What a pair of strange socks are you wearing, one is green and the other one is blue !"
Sardar- : "Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the same at home."
72.
A Sardar went to a bank to open a Savings Bank Account. After seeing the Form He went to
Delhi for filling up.
Why?
Form says " Fill up in CAPITAL ".
73.
Sardar told his servant-: " Go and water the plants."
Servant-:" It's already raining."
Sardar-: "So what ;take an umbrella and go."
74.
A Sardar and his wife filed an application for Divorce.
Judge asked-: " How'll you divide, you have three children?
Sardar replied-: "Ok! We"ll apply next year"
75.
Sardarji decided to write the MBA exam. He can understand every thing except for the LOGIC part. One day when he was reading, his friend came.
Friend-: How is your MBA preparation?
Sardarji-: Every thing is fine, but I could not understand Logic.
Friend-: Logic is very easy.
Sardarji-: Can you give me an example, so that I can understand?
Friend-: OK. Do you have fish pot in your house?
Sardarji-: YES.
Friend-: Logically, there will be water in it.
Sardarji-: YES.
Friend-: Logically, there will be fish in it.
Sardarji-: YES.
Friend-: Logically, someone will be feeding the fish.
Sardarji-: YES.
Friend-: I take a guess that your wife will be feeding the fish.
Sardarji-: YES.
Friend-: so, logically, your are married.
Sardarji-: YES.
Friend-: So, that means U are a heterosexual.
76.
Sardarji was very glad and he understood logic. Next day he saw another sardarji friend named Buta who was also preparing for MBA.
Sardarji-: How is your MBA preparation?
Buta-: Everything is fine except for the logic.
Sardarji-: Oh, logic is easy.
Buta-: Please, give me an example.
Sardarji -: Do you have a fish pot in your house?
Buta-: NO, I don't.
Sardarji-:you bloody HOMO!!!
77.
Sardarji was trying to commit suicide on the railway track and he took some wine and chicken along with him.
Railway guards stopped him from committing suicide but were surprised to see the dinner box and asks-:"But!!!!! Why you carried your dinner?"
Sardarji replied-:" If the train is not in time; then I will die out of hunger"
78. LETTER
Letter from mother to Sardarji.
Beloved son,
I am writing this letter slow, because I know you can't read fast. We shifted our home. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen 20 miles from our old home, so we moved. I wont be able to send you the address of new home as the last Sardar who stayed here took the numbers with him for their next house, so they would not have to change their address.
The weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first time it rained three days, and the second time for four days.
Regarding the coat you wanted me to send you; the post office staff told it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with all the buttons, so I cut them off and put them in the pocket.
Here your father got another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting grass at the cemetery.
Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it's a girl or a boy, so I don't know whether you are an Aunt or Uncle.
Your uncle fell in a pond. Some men tried pulling him out, but he fought them off and drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.
There is not much more news this time. Nothing much has happened.
LoveMom.
P.S: I wish to send you some money but unfortunately the envelope was already sealed.
79.
Sardarji was in court charged with parking his car in a restricted area. The judge asked him if he had anything to say in his defence.
Sardaji-: "They should not put up such misleading notices. It said, FINE FOR PARKING HERE."
80.
Sardarji came to the office of The Hindustan Times to place an advertisement announcing his father's death.
The clerk told -: "The rate is Rs. 360 per single col. cm,"
Sardarji exclaimed -: “Oohhhhh…Then I will become a bankrupt ,because My father was 182 cms tall."
81.
Sardarji was appearing for his University final examination. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. He then removes his turban and throws it away as well. Then his shirt, pants, socks and watch..
The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on.
Sardarji-: "Ohh.., I am only following the instructions; it says,
'Answer the following questions in brief'.”
82.
Q: How do you keep a sardarji busy?
A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a paper.
Q: Why did the sardarji stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?
A: ‘ Because it said 'concentrate'.
Q: Why did 18 sardarjis go to a movie?
A: ‘ Because that film was for above 18.’
83.
There was a meeting of all Sardar freedom fighters. They were planning for a Punjab with a fast pace of development.
Banta Singh raised a point, "For that...we should liberate Punjab from India “
“ But how?" All the sardars spelled in the same manner
Santa Singh had a brainwave... "No problem! We'll attack America, then they will take over us and then we will become a State of USA and develop automatically." All the sardars became happy with this very simple solution but an old sardar was in a pensive mood. One among them asked him why he wasn't happy.
Sardar said-: "That is a good idea; But.. if we defeat America!!"
84.
A sardarji with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked what happened to his ears and he answered, "I was ironing a shirt and that time the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."
"Oh God!!!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But.. What happened to your other ear?"
"The scoundrel again called."
85.
While Sardarji was enjoying the sunset at Kovelam beach a lady approached him and asked “ Are you relaxing? “
Sardarji replied-:” No, I am Santa Sing “
86.
Thousands of Sardar’s were found dancing and singing in the street during a funeral procession. A passer-by in utter surprise asked a Sardar dancer about the matter.
Sardar replied-:” He was the first Sardar who died due to brain tumor. From now, no stupid will dare to say Sardar’s don’t have brain “
87.
Sardarji is very much optimistic. One day while going to the shop he looked upward and at the instant a bird excreted in his face. He took his towel and gently cleaned it and said “Thanks God; for making cow’s don’t fly”.
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