1. The Teacher asked all the students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match.
All were busy writing except Banta.
He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"
2. Photographer Santa was focusing on the dead body's face in a funeral function.
Suddenly all the relatives started beating him - why?
He said "SMILE PLEASE"
3. Santa at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call Modern art?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, that's a mirror!
4. Santa had a dream in which someone murdered him. Next day he closed his bank account. Know why?
Because the bank's slogan was: We make your dreams come true..
5. santa in Coffee shop wth wife.
santar:Jldi Pi, Coffee thandi ho Jaye gi.
Wife:ki frk painda hai?
Srdar: Bywakof Rate List dekh
Hot coffee Rs.15
Cold coffee.45
6. Srdar got new job:
1st day he spent 11 hours on computer:
Boss was happy & asked what he did?
Sardar replied: Keybord te ABC agy pichy lagi c, O sidi kiti ae.
7. Train Chali, Santa 1 Dibbe Mai Char Gaye..
TT Bola: Kyun Paa Ji, Nazar Nhe Aate, Ye Ladies Ka
Dibba Hai.
Santa Ji: Sorry Ji, Mere Ko Laga Aap Mard Ho.
8. Santa - My wife died yesterday..
Im trying to cry but tears are not come out,
what to do?
Banta - No Problem.
Just Imagine she Came Back
9. Santa:Train me raat bhar nind nhi ayi,
upr ki seat mili thi, garmi bahut thi.
Banta:To xchnge krna tha
Santa:Kisse krta?
Niche ki seat pe koi aya hi nahi.
10. Banta: Yeh chaku kyu ubal rahe ho?
Santa: Suicide karne ke liye
Banta: To phir ubalne kui kya zarurat hai?
Santa: Kahin infection na ho jaye.
11. Santa: Look a thief has entered our kitchen
and he is eating the cake I made.
Banta: Whom should I call now,
Police or Ambulance?
12. Banta ped pe chada to upr baithey
Bandar ne poocha: Upr kyu aya?
Banta: Apple khane.
Bandar: Yeh to aam ka ped hai.
Banta: Pata hai, Apple sath laya hu
13. Santa ke ghar Ladki ne janam liya..
Banta: jab ladki badi hogi to ladke ise chedenge.
Santa: Maine iska intejaam kar liye hai.
Banta: kya kiya?
Santa: Ladki ka naam DIDI rakh diya hai..............Jokes in Hindi Santa Banta
14. Santa apni biwi k office gaya
to usne dekha k uski biwi
boss ki godi me baithi dictation le rahi thi.
Santa:- Chal LAajo, aisi jagah kaam nahi karna
jahan staff k liye kursi bhi na ho
15. Santa: Woh ladki kitni sundar hai!
Banta: Mujhe uska naam pata hai.
Santa: Kyaa..
Banta: Woh bank mein kaam karti hai, uske counter ke upar uska naam likha tha "CHAALU KHAATA"
16. Maths Teacher Was Teaching
Mathematical Conversions
Teacher-If 1000 Kgs= Ton.
Then , For 3000 Kgs
How Much?
Santa-
Ton!Ton!Ton!
17. A Chini was in hospital.
SANTA went to meet him.
Chini said 'CHING CHONG, MOU.CHU CHA' And died.
SANTA went china 2 know the meaning,
that was:-
KUTTE OXYGEN KE PIPE SE PAIR UTHA
18. Sardar Apne Ghar Ka
Darwaza Kandhe Pe Utha
Kr Ja Raha Tha ..
Kisi Ne Poocha
Sardar g Kithy Ja Rhy Ho ???
Sardar g Ne Kaha:
Tala Khulwane ...
19. Santa Ek Baraf Ka Tukda Utha Kar Use Gaur Se Dekh Raha Tha.
Banta- Kya Dekh Rahe He??
Santa- Dekh Raha Hu Ye Leak Kaha Se Ho Raha He!!
20. Santa aur us Banta tange mai beth kr ja rhe the
k achanak ghodi ne gobar kr dia.
.
Yeh dekh kr santa banta se kehne laga
dekho dunia kitni tezi se tarki kr rhi hai
yaha bi kima nikalne ki mashin laga di.
21. Banta Singh: "Yaar Santa,
Last Year The Name-Plate Outside ur House Read Santa Singh B.A.
This Year It Read Santa Singh M.A.,
Wen Did u Finish urs Masters Degree?
Santa Singh: "You Don''t Understand.
Last Year My Wife Died,
I Put B.A. To Indicate Bachelor Again.
Den I Took A Second Wife, So M.A. Is Married Again
22. Santa In a Plane
Feels Vomiting & ask 4 a
Vomit Bag, Air Hostess
Gives Him The Bag After
Few Minutes When She
Comes Back Evry1 Was
Vomiting Except Sardar g
She Was Surprisd & Askd
"Santa g In Sab ko Kia Hua?"
Santa: "Me Ulti Kiti Ena Lokan
Nu Buri Lagi Te Me Wapis Pee Gya ... "
23. Boss: Where were you born?
Santa : India ..
Boss: which part?
Santa : What 'which part'? Whole body was born in India .
24. Santa: What is the name of your car?
Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with 'T'.
Santa : Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol..
25. Santa: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Santa : Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says this is 'All India Radio!
26. In an interview, Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Santa : Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. .....
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Santa : Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...
27. Santa:- Yar iska matlab kya hota hai, "I AM GOING"?
FRIEND:- Main jaa raha hun.
Santa :- Saaley, aise kaise jayega, 20 aur bhi aise ja chuke hain....answer bata ke jaa..
28. Santa went to temple & saw people puting coin in box & praying
Santa: Wow! How amazing. People are talking to God through coin phone without receiver
29. SardarJi: Ghar mai Mera he Hukam chalta hai.
Mai Kehta hon, Garam paani le aao, woh le aati hai,
Dost: Garam pani Q?
Sardar: Garam pani se Bartan Achay Dhultay hain.
30. Santa k 12 bachon mein 1 alag dikhta tha:
Jab uski biwi marnay wali thi to Santa ne poocha: Ab to bata do ye kis ka hai?
Santa : sirf yehi apka bacha hai.
All were busy writing except Banta.
He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"
2. Photographer Santa was focusing on the dead body's face in a funeral function.
Suddenly all the relatives started beating him - why?
He said "SMILE PLEASE"
3. Santa at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call Modern art?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, that's a mirror!
4. Santa had a dream in which someone murdered him. Next day he closed his bank account. Know why?
Because the bank's slogan was: We make your dreams come true..
5. santa in Coffee shop wth wife.
santar:Jldi Pi, Coffee thandi ho Jaye gi.
Wife:ki frk painda hai?
Srdar: Bywakof Rate List dekh
Hot coffee Rs.15
Cold coffee.45
6. Srdar got new job:
1st day he spent 11 hours on computer:
Boss was happy & asked what he did?
Sardar replied: Keybord te ABC agy pichy lagi c, O sidi kiti ae.
7. Train Chali, Santa 1 Dibbe Mai Char Gaye..
TT Bola: Kyun Paa Ji, Nazar Nhe Aate, Ye Ladies Ka
Dibba Hai.
Santa Ji: Sorry Ji, Mere Ko Laga Aap Mard Ho.
8. Santa - My wife died yesterday..
Im trying to cry but tears are not come out,
what to do?
Banta - No Problem.
Just Imagine she Came Back
9. Santa:Train me raat bhar nind nhi ayi,
upr ki seat mili thi, garmi bahut thi.
Banta:To xchnge krna tha
Santa:Kisse krta?
Niche ki seat pe koi aya hi nahi.
10. Banta: Yeh chaku kyu ubal rahe ho?
Santa: Suicide karne ke liye
Banta: To phir ubalne kui kya zarurat hai?
Santa: Kahin infection na ho jaye.
11. Santa: Look a thief has entered our kitchen
and he is eating the cake I made.
Banta: Whom should I call now,
Police or Ambulance?
12. Banta ped pe chada to upr baithey
Bandar ne poocha: Upr kyu aya?
Banta: Apple khane.
Bandar: Yeh to aam ka ped hai.
Banta: Pata hai, Apple sath laya hu
13. Santa ke ghar Ladki ne janam liya..
Banta: jab ladki badi hogi to ladke ise chedenge.
Santa: Maine iska intejaam kar liye hai.
Banta: kya kiya?
Santa: Ladki ka naam DIDI rakh diya hai..............Jokes in Hindi Santa Banta
14. Santa apni biwi k office gaya
to usne dekha k uski biwi
boss ki godi me baithi dictation le rahi thi.
Santa:- Chal LAajo, aisi jagah kaam nahi karna
jahan staff k liye kursi bhi na ho
15. Santa: Woh ladki kitni sundar hai!
Banta: Mujhe uska naam pata hai.
Santa: Kyaa..
Banta: Woh bank mein kaam karti hai, uske counter ke upar uska naam likha tha "CHAALU KHAATA"
16. Maths Teacher Was Teaching
Mathematical Conversions
Teacher-If 1000 Kgs= Ton.
Then , For 3000 Kgs
How Much?
Santa-
Ton!Ton!Ton!
17. A Chini was in hospital.
SANTA went to meet him.
Chini said 'CHING CHONG, MOU.CHU CHA' And died.
SANTA went china 2 know the meaning,
that was:-
KUTTE OXYGEN KE PIPE SE PAIR UTHA
18. Sardar Apne Ghar Ka
Darwaza Kandhe Pe Utha
Kr Ja Raha Tha ..
Kisi Ne Poocha
Sardar g Kithy Ja Rhy Ho ???
Sardar g Ne Kaha:
Tala Khulwane ...
19. Santa Ek Baraf Ka Tukda Utha Kar Use Gaur Se Dekh Raha Tha.
Banta- Kya Dekh Rahe He??
Santa- Dekh Raha Hu Ye Leak Kaha Se Ho Raha He!!
20. Santa aur us Banta tange mai beth kr ja rhe the
k achanak ghodi ne gobar kr dia.
.
Yeh dekh kr santa banta se kehne laga
dekho dunia kitni tezi se tarki kr rhi hai
yaha bi kima nikalne ki mashin laga di.
21. Banta Singh: "Yaar Santa,
Last Year The Name-Plate Outside ur House Read Santa Singh B.A.
This Year It Read Santa Singh M.A.,
Wen Did u Finish urs Masters Degree?
Santa Singh: "You Don''t Understand.
Last Year My Wife Died,
I Put B.A. To Indicate Bachelor Again.
Den I Took A Second Wife, So M.A. Is Married Again
22. Santa In a Plane
Feels Vomiting & ask 4 a
Vomit Bag, Air Hostess
Gives Him The Bag After
Few Minutes When She
Comes Back Evry1 Was
Vomiting Except Sardar g
She Was Surprisd & Askd
"Santa g In Sab ko Kia Hua?"
Santa: "Me Ulti Kiti Ena Lokan
Nu Buri Lagi Te Me Wapis Pee Gya ... "
23. Boss: Where were you born?
Santa : India ..
Boss: which part?
Santa : What 'which part'? Whole body was born in India .
24. Santa: What is the name of your car?
Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with 'T'.
Santa : Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol..
25. Santa: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Santa : Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says this is 'All India Radio!
26. In an interview, Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Santa : Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. .....
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Santa : Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...
27. Santa:- Yar iska matlab kya hota hai, "I AM GOING"?
FRIEND:- Main jaa raha hun.
Santa :- Saaley, aise kaise jayega, 20 aur bhi aise ja chuke hain....answer bata ke jaa..
28. Santa went to temple & saw people puting coin in box & praying
Santa: Wow! How amazing. People are talking to God through coin phone without receiver
29. SardarJi: Ghar mai Mera he Hukam chalta hai.
Mai Kehta hon, Garam paani le aao, woh le aati hai,
Dost: Garam pani Q?
Sardar: Garam pani se Bartan Achay Dhultay hain.
30. Santa k 12 bachon mein 1 alag dikhta tha:
Jab uski biwi marnay wali thi to Santa ne poocha: Ab to bata do ye kis ka hai?
Santa : sirf yehi apka bacha hai.
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