1. 4 sardar dost the. College ke baad apna apna business start kiya. 2 mahine baad vapas mile. Kisika bhi business nahi chala.
Kyu ki unke business is tarah the.
1-Gandhi hair care.
2-Malika saree centre.
3-Salman marriage bureau.
4-Rakhi satsang kendra.
2. Sardar to Gujju Friend: “Main apna wallet ghar bhool aaya, aur mujhe 1000 Rs chahiye.”
Kanjoos Gujju: “Dost hi to dost ke kam aata hai. Yeh lo 10 rupees. Riksha karle ghar jao aur apna purse le aao.”
3. Sardar to Gujarati Seth: Sethji, hum ek anath ashram bana rahe hain.
Kanjoos Gujarati: Very good !
Sardar: Aap hamare anath ashram ke liye kya kar sakte ho ?
Kanjoos Gujarati: Mein anath ashram mein apne 4 bachhe ko bhej sakta hu.
4. Sardar jokes
Sardar to his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It's already raining.
Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.
5. Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever -
What will come first, Chicken or egg?
O Yaar, what ever U order first, will come first.
6. A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match.. All were busy writing except one Sardarji.
He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"
7. Postman: - I Have To Come 5 Miles to Deliver U This Packet
Sardar: - why did U come so far. Instead U could Have posted it....
8. A Sardar & his wife filed an application for Divorce.
Judge asked: How'll U divide your kids, U"VE 3 children?
Sardar replied: Ok! We'll apply NEXT YEAR
9. Sardar's wish: when I die, I wana die like my Grandpa who died peacefully in his sleep not Screaming like all d passengers in d car he was Driving..
10. A Teacher lecturing on population:
"In Indi a after every 10 secs a women gives birth to a kid. "
A Sardar stands up- "We must find & stop her!. "
11. A man: "Sardarji, tell me, why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in the evening not in the morning?"
Sardarji: ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''.
12. Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
The Chinese friend just says "CHIN YU YAN" and dies.
Sardarji goes to China to find the meaning of his friend's last Words.
And finds It means "U R STANDNG ON the OXYGEN TUBE!"
13. Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed.
His wife asked what you are doing.
He said-I am seeing how I look while sleeping.
14. Why did Sardar cut the sides of the capsule before taking it?
Guess what...
To avoid side effects!!!
15. Man: Sardarji where were U born?
Sardarji: Punjab .
Man: Which part?
Sardar: Oye part part kya kar raha hai, whole body Is born in Punjab Yaar".
16. Lawyer to Sardar: "Gita pe haath rakhkar kaho ke....... "
Sardar :"Yeh kya, sita pe haath lagaya to court mein Bulaya. Ab fir gita pe haath!!"
17. A Sardar saw a beautiful girl... He went and kissed her....
Girl said- "What R U doing...?"
Sardar replied- " B.COM from Khalsa college, Chandigar"
18. Sardar: For the past one week a girl is disturbing Me.
I don't know how she got my no, she interrupts whenever I call someone and says "please recharge your card"
19. A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a Sardarni painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket. Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.
She showed him the instructions on the tin, "For Best Results put on Two Coats"
20. A sardar was drawing money from ATM,
The sardar behind him in the line said, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen ur password. Its 4 asterisks (****). "
The first sardar replies, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! U R wrong, Its 1258"
21. Q:) How do U recognize a sardar in school or College???
A:) They are the ones who erase their notebooks when the teacher erases the blackboard.. . BOLO tarara!!
22.
Q:) Why did the sardarji sleep with a scale?
A:) Because he wanted to measure how long he has Slept....... .
23.
Santa Singh MBBS
After finishing his MBBS, Dr. Santa Singh starts his Own practice..
He checked his first patient's Eyes, then the tongue, and finally the Ears using a torch.
Finally he said Battery is Ok !!!
24.
SardarJi: Ghar mai Mera he Hukam chalta hai.
Mai Kehta hon, Garam paani le aao, woh le aati hai,
Dost: Garam pani Q?
Sardar: Garam pani se Bartan Achay Dhultay hain.
25.
Sardarji: Me E-Mail bnana hu. Sardar, Sardarg, Sardar123, Sardarabc Koi bhi nhe mil rha.
Sardarji Friend : Tum "Akalmand_Sardar" try kro 100% mil jye ga.
26.
A Teacher told all Students in a class to write as essay on a CricketMatch.
All were busy in writing except one Sardar.
When the teacher asked Saardar for the reason..
and saw the paper.. in the paper He Wrote as
"DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH"
27.
Sardar at an art gallery "I suppose this horrible lookingthing is what you call a modern Art?"
Art Dealer "I beg your pardon sir. Thats a mirror!"
28.
A Sardar G goes to Doctor and says:
Sardar G: Doctor, I feel swear pain when i touch my body anywhere.
Doctor xrays entire body and find that the Sardar G's finger is fractured.
29.
Two sardars were fixing a bomb in a car.Sardar
1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.sardar
2 : Dont worry, I have a one more.
30. How will you destroy a submarine full of sardars ?
Simple. Just knock the door and they will open it.
31.
Which year? Sardar: Oye ullu ke pathe _ _ _ EVERY YEAR interviewer: what is your birth date? Sardar: 13th October Which year? Sardar: Oye ullu ke pathe _ _ _ EVERY YEAR
32.
Lecturer: write a note on Gandhi Jayanthi So Sardar writes, "Gandi was a great man, but I don't know who is Jayanthi.
33.
Manager asked to sardar at an interview Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it? Sardar replyed: -P-O-S-T-B-O-X.
34.
Teacher to Sardar: Write your best friend's name in English. Sardar wrote: ' Beautiful Red Underware' Teacher: What? Sardar: His name is Sundar Lal Chaddha
35.
"Have you ever read Shakespeare?"
Sardar: "No, who wrote it?"
36.
Sardar ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
"Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."
37.
Why do Sardars work seven days a week?
So you don't have to re-train them on Monday.
38.
Why does Sardar always smile during lightning storms?
They think their picture is being taken.
39.
How can you tell when Sardar sends you a fax?
It has a stamp on it.
40.
"Oh, look at the dead bird."
Sardar looked skyward and said "Where, Where?
41.
What do smart Sardar and UFOs have in common?
You always hear about them but you never see them.
42.
The doctor told Sardarji that if he ran eight kilometers a day for 300 days, he wouldloose 34 kilos. At the end of 300 days, Sardarji called the doctor to report he had
lost the weight, but he had a problem. "What's the problem?" asked the doctor. "I'm
2400 kms from home."
43.
EMPLOYMENT?
Our sardarji was filling up an application form for a job. He promptly filled the
columns titled NAME,AGE,ADDRESS etc. Then he came to the column Salary
Expected : He was not sure as to what to be filled there. After much thought he
wrote : Yes
44.
DOUBLE DECKER BUS RIDE
Santa Singh and Banta Singh landed up in Bombay. They managed to get into a
double- decker bus. Santa Singh somehow managed to get a bottom seat, But
unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top. After a while when the rush is over, Santa
went upstairs to see friend Bannta Singh. He met Banta in a bad condition clutching
the seats in front with both hands, scared to death. He says, "Are Banta Singh! What
the heck's going' on? Why are you scared ? I was enjoying my ride down there ?"
Scared Banta replies. "Yeah, but you've got a *driver.* "
45.
Sardarji calls Air India. "How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?"
"Just a sec," comes an answer.
"Thank you." says the Sardarji and hangs up!
46.
Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh are in a railway station. Hari Singh asks the clerk:
"Can I take this train to Ludhiana?". "No," answers the Railway man. "Can I?" asks
Gani Singh.
47.
Englishman, an American, and a Sardarji were called upon to test a lie detector.
The Englishman said, T think I can empty 20 bottles of beer.' BUZZZZZ went the lie detector.
'OK,' he said, '10 bottles.' And the machine was silent. , .
The American said, 'I think I can eat 15 hamburgers.' BUZZZZZ went the lie detector.
'Alright, 8 hamburgers.' And the machine was silent.
The Sardarji said, ‘I think ...'
BUZZZZZ went the machine!
48.
5anta saw that his friend Ram Lai was very depressed.
'What happened?' asked Santa.
'Yaar, I lost Rs 800 in a bet yesterday.'
'How come?'
'Well, yesterday, the one day match between India and England was being shown live on TV I bet Rs 500 that India would win, but I lost the bet.'
'But that's only Rs 500, where did the rest go?'
'Yaar, I bet on the highlights too!'
49.
Sardarji is in a Quiz Contest trying to win prize money of Rs.1 crore. The questions are as follows:
1) How long was the 100 yr war?A) 116B) 99C) 100D) 150
Sardar says "I will skip this"
2) In which country are the Panama hats made?A) BRASILB) CHILEC) PANAMAD) EQUADOR
Sardar asks for help from the University students
3) In which month do the Russians celebrate the October Revolution?A) JANUARYB) SEPTEMBERC) OCTOBERD) NOVEMBER
Sardar asks for help from general public
4) Which of these was King George VI first name?A) EDERB) ALBERTC) GEORGED) MANOEL
Sardar asks for lucky cards
5) The Canary islands, in the Pacific Ocean, has its name based onwhich animal:A) CANARY BIRDB) KANGAROOC) PUPPYD) RAT
Sardar gives up.
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50.
One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Sardar: Any great man born in this village???
Sardar: no sir, only small Babies!!!
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